i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
