I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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