I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
