About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize