Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
