Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
And then he peed in my hair
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