Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
