We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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