watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
