your room smells of hookers.
And success
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
