i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
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It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
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It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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