I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
