I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I just cut my nipple shaving
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
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