Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize