they said they heard you say put it in my butt
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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