Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (415): I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic. http://tfl.nu/mbng
  Replies (5) Good night (723) Bad night (2702)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (650): I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world. http://tfl.nu/egr4
  Replies (31) Good night (6322) Bad night (2170)
• Favorite

  (254): View more from Texas

  that's what penises do

  (254): View more from Texas

  they tell lies.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (254): that's what penises do (254): they tell lies. http://tfl.nu/si8y
  Replies (14) Good night (4810) Bad night (1504)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head http://tfl.nu/hdz6
  Replies (23) Good night (8039) Bad night (1426)
• Favorite

  (636): View more from Missouri

  I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (636): I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue. http://tfl.nu/zl9g
  Replies (6) Good night (2938) Bad night (809)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (403): this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property. http://tfl.nu/0jew
  Replies (3) Good night (1753) Bad night (879)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (701): They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture. http://tfl.nu/7kma
  Replies (2) Good night (1369) Bad night (538)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists. http://tfl.nu/kdms
  Replies (4) Good night (399) Bad night (864)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket. http://tfl.nu/amsn
  Replies (4) Good night (2058) Bad night (435)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS http://tfl.nu/smac
  Replies (4) Good night (405) Bad night (966)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (901): Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable. http://tfl.nu/r0ud
  Replies (11) Good night (1753) Bad night (456)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (780): So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks. http://tfl.nu/pwvq
  Replies (5) Good night (1740) Bad night (400)
• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (316): I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm http://tfl.nu/e7hi
  Replies (1) Good night (343) Bad night (493)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (785): I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media http://tfl.nu/zoh7
  Replies (3) Good night (571) Bad night (315)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (209): One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket http://tfl.nu/np71
  Replies (3) Good night (350) Bad night (459)

Randomize