Texts From Last Night

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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?

  (339): View more from Massachusetts

  Oh yeah that.

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  (781): WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND? (339): Oh yeah that. http://tfl.nu/clil
  Replies (50) Good night (2152) Bad night (5374)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness

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  (480): I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness http://tfl.nu/10ex
  Replies (5) Good night (5132) Bad night (890)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.

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  (256): Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program. http://tfl.nu/l90z
  Replies (12) Good night (3549) Bad night (1064)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.

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  (503): Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate. http://tfl.nu/7ogi
  Replies (13) Good night (2698) Bad night (968)
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  (428): View more from

  she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.

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  (428): she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report. http://tfl.nu/mjah
  Replies (3) Good night (2036) Bad night (878)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.

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  (503): She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze. http://tfl.nu/rdoy
  Replies (3) Good night (963) Bad night (1308)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.

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  (651): Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it. http://tfl.nu/j2gr
  Replies (5) Good night (1619) Bad night (658)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.

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  (801): He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life. http://tfl.nu/2uzh
  Replies (7) Good night (563) Bad night (1443)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.

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  (215): If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life. http://tfl.nu/9g40
  Replies (2) Good night (1219) Bad night (677)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter

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  (404): So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter http://tfl.nu/fadw
  Replies (3) Good night (429) Bad night (871)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.

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  (240): I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber. http://tfl.nu/iuw9
  Replies (4) Good night (698) Bad night (406)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.

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  (253): If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat. http://tfl.nu/66de
  Replies (2) Good night (357) Bad night (724)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.

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  (512): The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know. http://tfl.nu/ghx8
  Replies (1) Good night (757) Bad night (392)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please

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  (973): if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please http://tfl.nu/glaf
  Replies (2) Good night (295) Bad night (697)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked

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  (586): yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked http://tfl.nu/ko03
  Replies (1) Good night (264) Bad night (911)

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