Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(856): View more from New Jersey

Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches

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(443): View more from Maryland

I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.

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(516): View more from New York

I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs

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(203): View more from Connecticut

then he tried to convert me to islam

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(850): View more from Florida

Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips

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(914): View more from New York

I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.

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(479): View more from Arkansas

We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair

(501): View more from Arkansas

Strong work

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.

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(850): View more from Florida

The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.

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