waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
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