Texts From Last Night

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  (904): View more from Florida

  I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me

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  (904): I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me http://tfl.nu/myzn
  Replies (28) Good night (1166) Bad night (6165)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"

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  (402): They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman" http://tfl.nu/zber
  Replies (36) Good night (3811) Bad night (927)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends

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  (814): Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends http://tfl.nu/5yet
  Replies (77) Good night (7566) Bad night (1279)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.

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  (608): last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome. http://tfl.nu/a48x
  Replies (32) Good night (8996) Bad night (1788)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.

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  (902): you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face. http://tfl.nu/e2jp
  Replies (16) Good night (5196) Bad night (1136)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails

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  (205): Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails http://tfl.nu/p7in
  Replies (12) Good night (3536) Bad night (991)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.

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  (256): Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier. http://tfl.nu/oxri
  Replies (5) Good night (2381) Bad night (980)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night

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  (614): Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night http://tfl.nu/qw5j
  Replies (3) Good night (754) Bad night (767)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...

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  (703): Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down... http://tfl.nu/5zyg
  Replies (6) Good night (2515) Bad night (687)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.

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  (832): Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away. http://tfl.nu/sac9
  Replies (1) Good night (993) Bad night (591)
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  (415): View more from California

  He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type

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  (415): He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type http://tfl.nu/pqp7
  Replies (6) Good night (657) Bad night (594)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in

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  (954): I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in http://tfl.nu/4adg
  Replies (4) Good night (915) Bad night (480)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.

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  (412): My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey. http://tfl.nu/rdvv
  Replies (3) Good night (1069) Bad night (449)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer

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  (705): this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer http://tfl.nu/chqz
  Replies (2) Good night (643) Bad night (404)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  "I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"

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  (313): "I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead" http://tfl.nu/zzf1
  Replies (3) Good night (410) Bad night (668)

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