ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome