I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
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