How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
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