Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
