She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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