rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
