Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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