Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
