oh god the rape fog is back!
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
