Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
