I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
