i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
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His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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