girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
