I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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