I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
