no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
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