Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I just want nice things and good sex
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
