Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
