I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize