in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
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