You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
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