Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
