Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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