it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
