But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
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