She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
