Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
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