im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
