I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
