I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
