Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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