can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
