i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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