I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Randomize
