So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
