they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
