i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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