Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
wow bdsm is so cute
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