Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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