Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Randomize
