Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
As shirtless as possible
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
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