Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
