i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
