How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Michael Bay diarrhea
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
