If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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