shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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