He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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