If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
