I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
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