5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
