I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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