Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
