Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
are you so shy because you have an std?
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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