Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
