My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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