Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
